...One thing I do perceive is that some of those who studied halacha early in life absorb the ritual without truly follow Judaism’s precepts. A religious Jew who acts badly is known as a khillul ha-Shem. A religious Jew whose acts inspire admiration is referred to as a kiddush ha-Shem.
It’s all too easy, especially for those not very learned in Torah, to let the khillul ha-Shem get you down. This often results in hostility to Judaism in general and perhaps even self-loathing.
Don’t let the khillul ha-Shem get you down. There are plenty of kiddush ha-Shem out there.